So, the cloud is lifting. Its not gone, but its rolling back. My bouts of depression seem to ebb and flow, and I still have no idea of how to control them, or why they happen. In many ways, its so hard to explain how it is to feel this way. I can feel it coming on, and I try to not let it hit me, to ignore it, but it rolls in, and I feel so... distant. And then things that shouldn't bother me find ways to wiggle into my brain. And I want them to not to. I want to be the happy person I am when I'm not consumed by the cloud.
Maybe its stress, maybe its chemicals. Maybe its choices made, I don't know. I just wish I could make it stop.
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