Its halloween! Our Display was quite a success, with several people commenting on it when I got home from work. Sadly, though, I've only had a Red Power Ranger get some candy.
Anywhoo... Boo!
7:46 - Update ~ Black suit Spidy and a fairy (possibly princess) got some reeses goodness.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Ha!
I think I did good on my Chem test. No reason to feel otherwise, anyways. And I finally took my time on a test. I've never actually done this before succesfully. Now I just need to study for my math test this weekend.
I've spent hours here on campus, and realized something... ...I dont feel out of place here. I belong here. Which is awesome as all hell.
I've spent hours here on campus, and realized something... ...I dont feel out of place here. I belong here. Which is awesome as all hell.
The tao of Steve...
Button is off to the St. Louis Vegetarian Society meeting tonight, so I took the bus to school early today. When I stepped off the bus, I was rained on. It was a soft sprinkle with large drops of rain. I've been reading a lot this semester, mostly (actually, only) in philosophy. I've actually been enjoying it a lot, and I think I've found my mind opening up a bit. Perhaps not like in the existence of the mind or whatnot, but on life. Which brings me back to the bus ride here, and Button's trip to eat vegi/vegan foods and our life in general right now.
We're broke, and we've been having problems. Mostly they both are related to buttons problem finding a job, and her disillusionment with graduate school. I'm having the time of my life anymore. I'm really enjoying school overall, and work is turning out to be pretty good. The only problem I've had was my little buddy car is having neurological problems and is being looked at.
But I think the problem we're having is this: I've found not quite enlightenment, but some sense of peace in the world, and with myself. Outside of the problems with my mom, I find myself feeling better, and much happier than I have in a long time. But Button hasn't. And I don't know how to share how I feel, and how to get her in the same moment as I am.
And I wonder if part of how I feel is from the stuff I've been reading. I chose existentialism because I thought it would be interesting, but I never thought it would be so life enhancing. Existence is what you make of it, and I find that thought alone to be amazing and life changing. We are what we chose to be, our lives are as they chose to be.
Two people can experience the same event but have two totally different moments, two experiences, totally different from the other, because how they chose to experience the moment. I find myself trying to incorporate this kind of thinking into my life, my mind. My world is this moment, and I shape it by how I experience it.
Apart from that, reading The Search for Schrödinger's Cat also influenced this thinking. Science tells us that we can't know anything about what we wish to study without experimenting on it, and then we can only learn what we experiment for, and only what we experiment for at the moment we experiment for it. Lost? We can only know about something when we study it at the moment we study it. We influnce it with our exam of the object, and it influences us as well.
Life, and our experiences during it, is influenced by our experiencing if, and we are influenced by it as well. We chose how we live our life, and how to experience the moments within it based in no small part on how we have chosen to experience previous events, and how those events have effected our own choices. We are victims to no one but ourselves. We are masters of ourselves, and our world.
And that is the single most awesome thought ever.
And what does this have to do with Button going to STL and me getting rained on? The sky was cloudy, but there was only one rain cloud in the sky, right over head, raining on me. It was a really cool experience, to see the actual cloud that was raining on you. In a sense, you are being touched by the cloud, it is reaching down and experiencing the world, and you. Sometimes existentialism is cool.
And no, I cant use any of this for class.
We're broke, and we've been having problems. Mostly they both are related to buttons problem finding a job, and her disillusionment with graduate school. I'm having the time of my life anymore. I'm really enjoying school overall, and work is turning out to be pretty good. The only problem I've had was my little buddy car is having neurological problems and is being looked at.
But I think the problem we're having is this: I've found not quite enlightenment, but some sense of peace in the world, and with myself. Outside of the problems with my mom, I find myself feeling better, and much happier than I have in a long time. But Button hasn't. And I don't know how to share how I feel, and how to get her in the same moment as I am.
And I wonder if part of how I feel is from the stuff I've been reading. I chose existentialism because I thought it would be interesting, but I never thought it would be so life enhancing. Existence is what you make of it, and I find that thought alone to be amazing and life changing. We are what we chose to be, our lives are as they chose to be.
Two people can experience the same event but have two totally different moments, two experiences, totally different from the other, because how they chose to experience the moment. I find myself trying to incorporate this kind of thinking into my life, my mind. My world is this moment, and I shape it by how I experience it.
Apart from that, reading The Search for Schrödinger's Cat also influenced this thinking. Science tells us that we can't know anything about what we wish to study without experimenting on it, and then we can only learn what we experiment for, and only what we experiment for at the moment we experiment for it. Lost? We can only know about something when we study it at the moment we study it. We influnce it with our exam of the object, and it influences us as well.
Life, and our experiences during it, is influenced by our experiencing if, and we are influenced by it as well. We chose how we live our life, and how to experience the moments within it based in no small part on how we have chosen to experience previous events, and how those events have effected our own choices. We are victims to no one but ourselves. We are masters of ourselves, and our world.
And that is the single most awesome thought ever.
And what does this have to do with Button going to STL and me getting rained on? The sky was cloudy, but there was only one rain cloud in the sky, right over head, raining on me. It was a really cool experience, to see the actual cloud that was raining on you. In a sense, you are being touched by the cloud, it is reaching down and experiencing the world, and you. Sometimes existentialism is cool.
And no, I cant use any of this for class.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Madge
So I got on the bus this morning, it was raining last night, and its still quite ugly out. I trundle up the steps and an older lady says "Hi!" very quickly and slightly too loud. The other passengers on the bus are further back and away from ... "Madge", I should have seen the signs, I suppose, but part of my personal social experiment is this, meeting people and experiences on the bus.
So Madge asks me if I've gotten off the St. Louis bus. I say no, I just live in Troy. She begins to tell me about how she sometimes misses 'this' bus, and takes the 14X back home, to what I think was Highland. We ride in silence for a minute at best, when she starts to tell me that my feet are going to freeze off in my sandals. Walmart doesnt have shoes like that now, Madge lets me know, and she was lucky to find the orthopedic old-lady shoes she was wearing.
"Oh yeah?" I was really trying, but I had also realized I had fallen into the crazy-old-lady trap. The only escape was to run away, but I'm just too nice to do that, plus, this would surly make a great entry into the blog I don't update, I realized.
Madge then got out some pictures she had with her. Of course, I didn't have to ask her to share. The first one was a picture of the SIUe 50th birthday cake. I know this not only because the cake very clearly said this, but Madge helpfully told me. Twice. In thirty seconds. It was a really good cake, too. But she doesnt know where all the people went after the cake was cut. Obviously, Madge doesnt realize that students dont care about 50th anniversaries, but they do care about cake.
She contnued to share her ... wonderful pictures. Now, I have to tell you, as a former Certifed Photo Specialist(tm) for a major one hour photo chain, there are two kinds of amatuer photographers; those that can take decent pictures most of the time, and those who should never be let near a camera, much less behind one. Madge, needless to say, fell into the latter.
More of her pictures included going gambling on the boat. Someone there, Madge informed me, had tried to use her first name to claim money. The boat also had 16,000 of her tokens, worth 'at least' fourty-five dollars, and they refused to give it to her. But her and her daughter are going to go again.
Then we got back to cake pictures. It was a really nice looking cake, you know. "The kid helping the cake lady will be able to open his own shop after working with her, he'll know all the secrets!" So Madge knows cakes, too. It turns out Madge is going to give these pictures to the cake people, because her landlords (she has four) won't let her keep too much in her apartment. "If people treated them like they treat you, they'd have them in court!"
Another rider gets on at the Edwardsville station, and seeing that Madge is a crazy old lady, runs to the back on the shuttle bus.
Finally, we arrive at SIU. Madge is off to give her pictures away. I'm off to waste another class not learning anything because we're reviewing.
So Madge asks me if I've gotten off the St. Louis bus. I say no, I just live in Troy. She begins to tell me about how she sometimes misses 'this' bus, and takes the 14X back home, to what I think was Highland. We ride in silence for a minute at best, when she starts to tell me that my feet are going to freeze off in my sandals. Walmart doesnt have shoes like that now, Madge lets me know, and she was lucky to find the orthopedic old-lady shoes she was wearing.
"Oh yeah?" I was really trying, but I had also realized I had fallen into the crazy-old-lady trap. The only escape was to run away, but I'm just too nice to do that, plus, this would surly make a great entry into the blog I don't update, I realized.
Madge then got out some pictures she had with her. Of course, I didn't have to ask her to share. The first one was a picture of the SIUe 50th birthday cake. I know this not only because the cake very clearly said this, but Madge helpfully told me. Twice. In thirty seconds. It was a really good cake, too. But she doesnt know where all the people went after the cake was cut. Obviously, Madge doesnt realize that students dont care about 50th anniversaries, but they do care about cake.
She contnued to share her ... wonderful pictures. Now, I have to tell you, as a former Certifed Photo Specialist(tm) for a major one hour photo chain, there are two kinds of amatuer photographers; those that can take decent pictures most of the time, and those who should never be let near a camera, much less behind one. Madge, needless to say, fell into the latter.
More of her pictures included going gambling on the boat. Someone there, Madge informed me, had tried to use her first name to claim money. The boat also had 16,000 of her tokens, worth 'at least' fourty-five dollars, and they refused to give it to her. But her and her daughter are going to go again.
Then we got back to cake pictures. It was a really nice looking cake, you know. "The kid helping the cake lady will be able to open his own shop after working with her, he'll know all the secrets!" So Madge knows cakes, too. It turns out Madge is going to give these pictures to the cake people, because her landlords (she has four) won't let her keep too much in her apartment. "If people treated them like they treat you, they'd have them in court!"
Another rider gets on at the Edwardsville station, and seeing that Madge is a crazy old lady, runs to the back on the shuttle bus.
Finally, we arrive at SIU. Madge is off to give her pictures away. I'm off to waste another class not learning anything because we're reviewing.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Happy Birfday?
So its my birthday.
It seems so odd to think that its my birthday. I'm suddenly 27? I think part of my problem with birthdays is that they are so intangible. Its hard to perceive how I went to bed 26 and woke up 27? I don't feel older (well, actually, my knee's were soooo sore yesterday. I'm so old. :'( ) and nothing has really changed from yesterday.
I guess Icant recall really celebrating birthdays when I was growing up. I dont recall what all we did, and I dont think we did much. I always had mom make a cherry crunch (almost like a n uniced danish, I suppose), and ... I dunno, I think Grandma and Grandpa would take us out to dinner for mom and my birthday. And I always felt then that that was too much. I've always avoided celebrating me, I dont like the attention, I suppose. I often feel bad because I know I disappoint Button, who works so hard on these birthdays with my lack of enthusiasm, but somehow in the end, she always ends up giving me some of her excitement at my birthday.
Which is why she's the most amazing person ever.
It seems so odd to think that its my birthday. I'm suddenly 27? I think part of my problem with birthdays is that they are so intangible. Its hard to perceive how I went to bed 26 and woke up 27? I don't feel older (well, actually, my knee's were soooo sore yesterday. I'm so old. :'( ) and nothing has really changed from yesterday.
I guess Icant recall really celebrating birthdays when I was growing up. I dont recall what all we did, and I dont think we did much. I always had mom make a cherry crunch (almost like a n uniced danish, I suppose), and ... I dunno, I think Grandma and Grandpa would take us out to dinner for mom and my birthday. And I always felt then that that was too much. I've always avoided celebrating me, I dont like the attention, I suppose. I often feel bad because I know I disappoint Button, who works so hard on these birthdays with my lack of enthusiasm, but somehow in the end, she always ends up giving me some of her excitement at my birthday.
Which is why she's the most amazing person ever.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
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