I guess after my last posts I left this all behind. But in the end I'm simply out of people to talk to. Our marriage is over, and I'm left behind. The only thing worse than the fact that the person I loved and wanted to spend forever with left is the emptiness that I feel inside. I just keep going day to day, but I've lost my drive to do anything. In so many ways things are better now. We were miserable in the last weeks. But now I'm just so much more alone than I have ever been. Its a silence in the house that weighs on me, and I don't want to come home to an empty house. But I have no where to go, and nothing to do. I think to myself that I want to meet someone, but I know I'm not wanting to be in a relationship, I just want companionship, and its a selfish wish.
I never thought my life was going to end up like this. I never thought I'd end up alone, almost thirty and starting my life over again.
'Is there some place far away, some place where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wander, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No, it isn't how it's really meant to be.'
