Awwww-ness.

Look at our little dude.

He's quite possibly the cutest lil bun ever.

Its amazing how full he makes our lives. And all he wants back is a little love. And a lot of Kibble.

I still dont understand how someone could abandon him. I just... dont.

Cutest. Thing. Ever.

From Bunny Cuteness

Soo... Davis is eating Kibble on the couch... and he gets done... and he goes to hop down... and a flurry of hairs fly off him... just like in the cartoons, when the cartoon leaves and the cloud is all thats left... like that... only cuter.

At the End of the Day

At the end of the day
when all the trials of life
seem too much to bear
and the shape of the world
yet to be is unclear

I know you're there
holding me steady
pushing me forward
pulling me from the edge

At the end of the day,
when the world is to much
and the road ahead is twisted
I know you're with me
and we'll get through
to the other side of life
together, side by side

At the end of the day
when my thoughts are full
of things undone and words unsaid

At the end of the day
there's only you and me
In my mind
In my heart
In my soul

At the end of the day,
At the start of the day,
and every second between,
I love you

And at the end of the day,
I find I love you more
than I did at the start

-SED 4/24/07

Grrr!

The down side of doing a good thing is there is always the reward. And its usually not a nice one.

We canceled our cable. We really didnt use it. Not really. But of course, now that Heroes has returned... I want my cable back! Whine!

Oh well, thank the non-existent gods for iTunes.

The odd thing...

I really like getting up early. Its nice, its relaxing. And I dont have to rush around.

And I like to work out in the morning. I feel more energetic.

That is all.

On other fronts....

I need to go to bed.

Remember that now.

1) Working out - I'm trying to get back into going. I was doing really awesome there for a while and then I got sidetracked... and then more, and then... well, it was bad. So I'm trying to go back again. I just need to go. So I need to go to bed instead of writing this. But here I am...

2)The Wedding (debacle) - My mom is a pain in my ass. If there was only a way I could brainwash her so I only have to deal with her when I want to... life would be so much easier. She wrote me an email about how the rehearsal dinner was her responsibility, and she was going to have a picnic, by god, cheerio! No, really, she ended her smarmy little blip with cheerio. So I told her off... and she hasnt responded in a week. Over a week now. I dunno. Anyways.

3) School - I need to find out what I should be doing now. And I need to work on getting some scholarships or something.

4) Life - I've been depressed again. I cant get back in my happy state. I'm sure its the above and more, and whatever else, but I just cant... switch it on. I'm hurting Katie. I'm hurting me. And I dont know how to stop being sad.

Its funny how you never realize your house has become a home, just like everyone else's. Until that is, you see a picture of your place, and you realize its just like everyone else's.

I love this place. I love living here. I dont want to leave it. I dont want to leave our life here.

I know when we get to Edwardsville, and we get moved in, and time passes, I'll be home there. I know that. But right now, I'm home. And I'm leaving it. Again.

I've lived in 7 places that I can think of since I was born. I've only truly called two of them home, and this is one of them. Its like an old friend that you're moving away from.

Ultimatly, I just want a home. And not move. Ever again. I want to settle down, have kids, raise them, get rid of them and grow into the irrasable cranky old man I've been working towards.

Oh, and I want a porch, dammit.

Life is interesting

We had another wonderful weekend together again this weekend. Its amazing how wonderful our time together is. I worry often that when the new school year begins that we'll never have that again. Soon it will be school and work, then it will be work and kids, and then you have your time together, but in an empty house. I'm going to miss our quiet weekends when school starts.

I'm terrified about going back to school. I dont know how we're going to pay the bills, how are we going to work, will we ever see each other? We both want the life that comes after our schooling, but I'm just worried about the years between them.

But then again, I worry a lot.

Owie?

My muscles hurt. Well, not so much hurt as just extremely sore... I way overdid it last night at the gym. I havnt worked out in ages, so when I go back I of course do the intelligent thing and overextend muscles. Genius. Pure freaking genius.

Sooo tiiiiired

I want to sleep so bad. I'm exhasted. And it makes my work quality suck. A lot. *sigh*

I finally realized why I dont want to discuss going back to school at work today. It'd be made a joke. I like joking around, but I hate how Tim mocks everyone constantly in front of everyone while is your best buddie when you're alone. I hate two-faced people, and he is a two faced man.

In other news, I ordered the information from SIUE, and I'm gonna hopefull look at the U of I tonight, since I wont be doing anything useful and will be forced to stay up till forever. *grumble*

On a different subject..

I've been thinking about getting a piercing. I dunno, it just sounded good. But its me, and I dont want to have a million discussions about it, so I dont want a visable one, so I'm thinking about I dunno... its odd to think about. Maybe this is just from all the changes that I've been thinking about... or... I dunno. I've played with the thought of getting something done off and on for a while. We discussed getting my ear done, but I dont want to have to explain to everyone I know why I got it. I dont want something wierd, and I'm not interested in having a gazzillion holes in me. Just something different, I guess.

Yeah, so I'm odd.

News'ed out.

So I have five newspapers to read. I've always been a voracious reader. I love to read... anything. Newsweek, whatever newspaper I can get my hands on, Cosmo, anything. Button mocked me once for reading her government book for fun once. Today, however, I have learned that I do seem to have a limit. Five newspapers seems to be on the upward limit. At this point I can skip the news, which seems to be redundant after three of the five, so its more interesting to read the "other" articles. Dunno... I'm twisted somehow.

We spent Saturday with Buttons parents. And surprisingly, it went 100% smoothly. We spent most of the day shopping, as her family is wont to do. We treated them to lunch for thier anniversary, and they treated button to clothes... and shoes... and sugar... and more stuff. Her dad and I hung out a bit while her mom and her shopped. It was intresting to say the least. I enjoy talking to him a lot... I just we had multiple topics when we talked. He's so much like Button. He gets on a subject and ... sticks to it.

I dunno.. The world is wierd somedays.

Amazing how the time flies...

So I need to get my drivers license renewed. Again. I'm getting old, dammit. Grrr... Its how how it goes by so fast. Button and I have been living together for two years. I practically call it a marriage, and we're just getting fucked by the man.

So I need to order some information for getting into Phram school... and I have no idea what I need to order, or what I need to send in. I suppose I should find out how to look up my ACT score again... and... er... if I could get any of my Robert Morris scores to carry over... yeah, thats a joke.

anywhooo.... still lost in the moreass of life...

A fresh start.. ...or the horrid continuation...

So, heres the thing... I love to learn. I love knowledge. I love to try to wrap my brain around things, learn the hows and whys of the world at large. And I love my job. I love working at the Phram, and helping people. When I took it, I didnt really know what I was taking on, just that I was so very fucking bored in photo. But the more I'm in The Phram, the more I like it.

And I want to do more. I regret not finishing college, even if it was fucking Robert Morris. I resent paying my student loans, since I'm paying for a net of nothing. And it irks me that whereever I go, I'll be pre-judged for not sticking it out finacially and testicularly and gotten a degree when I meet college kids daily that are dumber than a fucking box of rocks.

And whats more, I watch the RpH's at work. I could do it. Not now, I mean, but I could be a pharmacist. I want to be one. And thats the problem... How?

I've thought a lot about going back to school. How to pay for it, how to find a way to work, go to school, do homework, and still spend time with Button.

So now we've talked about it, and we're looking into it. But good god... SIX years of school. When/if I start classes next year, I'll be 26. I'd graduate with a PharmD when I'm 32. In 2013. We could do it. It'd be very rough for at least the first two years, when we'd both be in school. If Button graduates with her masters in 2008 and starts working full time, that'd make it easier for me to do it...

And I havnt been to school since 99? 2000? 5-6 years... amazing how fast its gone by.

All in all, I'm scared. Really and truly scared. But I want this, and it'd be good for me. For my family, now, and in the future. So I guess I'm going to be suffering for a while to come.

Wish me luck...

Meh.

Its odd how there are just... blah days. You have projects to be done, but lack the total and complete interest in doing them in any fashion. That would be me, today. Meh is the word of the day! Meh! I have this odd weekday off so I can waste my wonderful weekend time *working*. Meh. Its raining. Meh.

Meh, I say, Meh.

Ah, freshness!

I made my first ever Fried Green Tomatoes today. They were excellent! Somehow I just never had thought that I'd end up the person who could cook, and wasnt afraid to. And cook good! It amazes me sometimes how as we go along we learn more and more and become so much more adept at living and doing those things we need to and those things we like to, and how sometimes they become the same.

We planted tomatos late in the season, and about a month ago, they started coming ripe, so today was our own tomatos, from our garden. The best part of cooking for yourself, from scratch as much as possible is the amount of money you save. Today's cost: $3.69. Peanut Oil was all I needed to buy. Somehow it never seemed that easy or cheap when I was living with my parents and every meal came wrapped, boxed or frozen. And it is so much tastier than the prepacked, precooked, preflavored food you get in the store.

Of course, dont get me wrong, I still eat that too. Sometimes you have to just be lazy, we're only human after all.

TVD's Fried Green Tomatos
2-3 green tomatoes
salt, paprika, pepper and cyanne
flour
Peanut Oil
breading of your choice (I used wheat bran flakes)
Egg Wash (or rice milk, oil and water)

Slice the tomatoes, apply spices liberally. Let sit for 5 minutes while prepping egg mixture. dredge tomatos in the flour, dunk them in the egg mixture, then breading. Fry till done.

Enjoy.

Ahh!! Laundry!

Ahhhh !!!

Laundry!

The 902 Jackson Laundry Mat is open as of... well, yesterday. But today I've hijacked it for our own uses, namely the huge pile of laundry I'm doing!! Probably $40+ worth of laundry for free! Sweet, glorious free-ness. Well, mostly free. $10 a month is worth the damned ease of doing loads of laundry down the stairs. I can go downstairs barefoot, do laundry, and not even leave the premisis. Ah, Eric, you have almost redeemed yourself for the fact it took so long to do...

Tags: laundry

The Music of Us

Its amazing how you sometimes think about things, and how they can mark the milestones of your life. I often find myself looking through our (sign of the modern times and all) iTunes purchased playlist, and I always look through the songs, and the memories they bring back. Its sometimes somber, sometimes deliriously happy or just mush-ily cute. But its always us, for better or worse, and the memories are always amazing. Its a rich history we have already, and I cant imagine it any other way...



Accidently in love, Are you gonna be my girl - The begining of that magical summer of love. The summer without drama, when everything was new and awkward and indescribably perfect. We had no idea of the future to come because the present was so amazing. The Sangamon County Fair, The computers in the basement, grilling, and all those movies. Staying up way to late just holding each other.
She will be loved, With you - Summer waning, Button leaving for Californiacation Trip 2, Watchng her plane take off, Waiting for her to come back, The state fair.
I'll be seeing you - The Notebook, Button going to college
Days go by, My happy ending - Decatur. Crum. Him. Drama. So much unnessicary drama. Saddness.
Vienna, Riverwide - Depression. Why Button bought Riverwide is beyond me since I had it. Decatur in the rain, Walgreens in the background, oh the eerie premonition...
California - Button discovers the OC. Our TV habits never recover.
Sharp Dressed Man - Christmas '04. The deepest dark hole I ever remember being in. The new Apt.
Wonderful Tonight - Valentines '05. The best look of surprise on Button's face... Ever.
Forever Young - "...win or lose..." Laughing with the love of my life...
Dancing with Myself - Lucy. This is still Lucy's favorite song.
Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves - Cher with Sara. THE DRIVE THAT WOULD NOT END.
Holiday, Blvd of Broken Dreams, Honkytonk U - TVD retakes control of the musical selection... for better or worse.
Making Memories of Us - Picking Button up from Lantz, surprising her with this song. Spring '05...
These Boots are made for Walking - Summer '05 - Bike rides, laughter, SWIMMING, The Dukes of Hazzard, grilling...
Hollaback Girl - Pancake Sunday. I hear this song and I think of pancake sunday. And 867-5309.
You and Me - Button comes home to me. Fall Semestyer begins for her. Fall. Our birthdays.
Rock and Roll Queen - OC Season 3 - DRAMA!
I walk the Line/Ring of Fire - Walk the line. Cooning with Button at the theatre.
Anything but Mine - January '06 - The begining of the Hell Semester, The New Apt
Always on Your Side - Our 2nd Anniversary. Jimmy Johns in coon. The perfect anniversary, really.
You're Beautiful - Late night Wal-Mart Trips.

I love you Baby.

oh... my legs

Ahhh...weekends, my favorite part of the ... er.. week. Relaxing with my Button, having fun and being us! Let me see, since its been forever...

• Button's classes are almost over for the semester (yay!)
• Work is going much better since that person who I wont name is now gone. Ding dong... you fill in the rest
• I'm getting my continuing education hours knocked out. Six hours down, 14 to go.
• I'm thinking about trying to home brew some beer, just to experiment. It could be a lot of fun... and tasty, I hope!
• The apt will finally see some improvement as we finally get it clean before Katie's parents arrive on Friday.
• We had fresh pineapple today with the SUNDAY PANCAKES. I cant begin to tell you how good fresh whole pineapple is.
• We grilled yesterday. I made quite possibly the besty tasting steak I've made to date. I seasoned it simply with pepper and seasoning salt, coated it with a bit of light evoo and let it sit in some beer for about 45 minutes. I cooked just above medium. Oh. So. Good. I love grilling. Button got a veggie Riblet, which wasnt too bad. A very close replica to the real thing. I was impressed.
• Today we rode our bikes from home to the library. It was fun! Made really good time, too.
• We watched Sin City, or started to. It didnt interest either of us enough to really even get halfway through. It was visually really good... but... enh.
• I think I kinda want Chinese for diner, but dont know what Button wants.

Easter with my parents was odd, interesting, good, then... more usual. I got home Friday night, and we chatted really nice, which was odd. Saturday was even weirder, with my parents getting along, and we were actually talking about things, then me and mom went for a walk and we talked. We then took a walk with my dad to schnucks to buy a yogurt. We got along really well, and it was.. well, astounding. Which as we all know, is when the other shoe drops, and the anvil, and any other idioms. Suffice to say, Sunday was more the usual for my parents, they bickered, Mom started a fight, and I got my feelings hurt.

In the end, I'm just thankful for Saturday, for something more like what I remember from so long ago. Back when we were a real family who ate at the dinner table and talked about stuff and was.. real. The more I'm around my parents now, the less I feel I know who I grew up with. I dont always know them. We grew apart so long ago, mostly because I needed to seperate myself from them, because I knew if I didnt, I'd end up like them. And I didnt want that. But I still find myself doing what I know I'd tell others not to do. I always find myself back at seventeen, helping out with the bills, but now instead of bills, I just get emotionally hijacked.

My mom says she misses me, and she does. But I think she misses more the idea of who I was in her mind more than the person I really was, or am now; niether of whom she is interested in knowing. And my dad... my dad hasnt really cared a lot about much of anyone but himself for a long time. We came to an understanding a long time ago when he was no longer able to terrify me into submission. I have so many good memories of my life with my parents, but they are always of moments where times were good, and we did things together. I only wish .... In someways I wish I could go home to those memories. Go back to the trailer, in a sense. Going back home to the happy place that before my apartments was the only home I'd known. A home that fell apart long before it was destroyed.

Well, that cheered things right up, didnt it? *sigh*

Oh!

Button made Applesauce bread last night! VERY GOOD.

Day one..

Well, its Day one with out Button. I'm already depressed. But more than that, I'm bored. When you spend so much time with someone, and the make up so much of your life, and then they are gone...

In a sense, I feel like I get a brief glimpse of what a person who loses a life compainion feels, only with out the horror and complete loss of that person.

We're having our first spring rain. The weather is nice, warm as March goes. The rain has been a constant today. It has either been raining, or wanting to rain, or getting ready to rain. I've been letting myself enjoy the gentle tapping of the rain on the outside. I opened the kitchen windows last nigh, and when I got home tonight I opened up the bedroom window.

The pleasant tempature combined with the dampness is the culprit in my amazing amount of stiffness in my bad knee, but hopefully that problem will go away this summer as I start to exercise again. Amazingly, for the first time ever, I find myself missing exercising. I cant wait to get to ride my bike again. Monday I'm going to check out the gym on 18th Street. I hope it doesnt suck.